The things in my head

So I haven't posted in a long while but I thought now is the time. get ready for 2022. the time is coming where the real me is now going to be shown.   

I woke up this morning and really felt like myself. I got my headphones on all day and I got to jam out to all the music. I have a feeling that things are going to fall into place. I am going to take one day at a time and enjoy all the small stuff. 

I want to take life for what it is and really step into myself. It's funny because TikTok has actually been something that has inspired me to be a better me. All the people on there that post things showing that I am not alone in the way I feel. I wish that it wasn't on social media but that is the day and age we are in. 

I have had a weird couple of years and stressful. I decided that I want no more of that. I will stay in my shell of positivity and joy. The bubble has been set and I will not let anyone pop it. 

Maybe I am better off alone since I have a tendency to pick the wrong people. I don't want other people to dictate my happiness but I have learned that I feed off of other people's vibes. This is something I am working on. I want to own who I am and not let anyone change me in a negative way. Even though I have been through so many things and been cheated on and heartbroken over and over, I still want to love full hearted and not let anyone change that. People are part of the life you live and you have to embrace who everyone is and really let that feed a better you. If that makes sense then you are starting to understand my brain, which sometimes I don't even understand. 

Most of the time I am just rambling out loud and in my head but writing my thoughts makes me empty it to a safe space. I want to feel no judgement for who I am. I want to be one with myself and true to who I am. I may be called a bitch but I know I am not. I may be called a slut but I know I am not. So many names have been thrown at me and I can truly say that I am just ME. call me what you want but really my name is just Kristina. 

to jump again to another topic- I want to get ready for next year. I want the following things: 

  • -to have fun
  • -love unconditionally
  • -be true to myself 
  • -positivity all around
  • -Travel
  • -see more concerts/theatrical shows/musicals
  • -become closer to my sisters and friends
  • -open up to people that I have walls up with
  • -grow my confidence
  • -let know ones judgement on me dictate who I am
  • -meet new people 
  • -face some trauma 

that list is what I want most. I want the world to show me what it has for me and see where the wind blows. I want to trust that I will make the right decisions for myself and not worry about what others think. It's time for me to be too much for the world and watch who and what is left when I blow away to the place I am supposed to be. 

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